#nd i tried to include lots of ppl!!!!

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[cogbreath]

if i live i gotta make life changes let me be honest with u guys ive not been drinking alcohol meant for humans consumption ive been drinking dilluted cleaning alcohol because i really do need substances to ease my pains in life but i cant drive no license and i ran out of the shared weed supply me and my mom use and im really too shy to confide in her like "yeah so basically i cwnt live without drugs" which IS stupid because she is a former addict herself she would understand and not be mad at me but tbh im a very private person irl i dont like to verbally talk to people about things at all because it causes me a lot of struggle and distress to and irl im not really a verbal person. im not NONVERBAL entirely but i genuinely do struggle with speaking as an act so yeah. its a lot of shit. anyway cuz of all that i resorted to drinking dilluted fucking chemicals sbout it. fuckigng stupid i promise you guys if i survive this i wont do it again or if i do out of desperation it wil be because i tried rlly elly hard not to but needed an escape. idk if u guys entirely understand these sorts of circumstances i feel like the wider tumblr userbase isnt intimate with this kind of thing but i also know you guys generally want to be good ppl and i understand your lack of familiarity with this topic doesnt mean u hate me. nd we all have been taught awful things about drug use and addicts. pls kno that when shit like this happens it's not cuz we r selfish or stupid or anything like that its because we are fuckin desperate and whatever it is in our life be it mental illness physical illness etc, is hurting us to make us resort to this shit. yes it was a stupid act i i feel bad as fuck right now for what ive done to myself and my body and i worry also that if i survive it , that it migut fuck up my future, cuz the liver damage may jeapordize my ability to transition. and idk maybe this is sxary for you guys too maybe you feel uncomfortable hearing about it at all but honestly i dotn have anyone else you guys mean a lot to me and im including you guys because i care about you and i feel you care about me.

[baeddelations]

I think this part of my loathing of seeing this article passed around "i am tw, iam staying in the closet" bc it is a diary entry that was explicitly not supposed to be advice or a rubric. She origanilly aays its just 1 narrative to take in then when it gets past around she says hey this was me venting i didnt intend for anyone to read this.

I think this is the major interest in this piece. A view into the interiority of a tw whos been closeted for 20 yrs and her personal xp growin up then being a closeted tw in a University WGS dept. Some ppl might call this a fetishistic interest in the interiority of this tw, oh how they love poking around in the frankenstein monsters guts, poking his brain to see what horrid mismatched limb will jump.

I think the main reason @autolenaphilia interacted with this is bc this article was passed around by a bunch of transmisogynist who are adpting and pulling together the transmisogyny of jeniffer and her recounting of cismanhating that exists in primarily cisfeminist spaces and by extension radical and queer spaces. Jennifer does not bring up cafab transness or transmasculinity once in this article yet it is cited as inspiration for truther framework.

I do think the way that jennifer talks about not wanting to acquiesce is kinda built on a faulty conjecture which is that if she transitioned she would be able to talk about femininity in these spaces... at one point she says this probably wouldnt be true(mb just for her) but then goes back to the original argumentation on many occasions. This argumentation taken to conlusion posits that it is easier to discourse or even exist in those spaces as a tw than as a cis man that u will be more include and less ridiculed. At the time of this article she had never actually tried out this proposition, so she never got to see how this prop is at least in all the copius amounts of personal and anecdotal xp i have false. But this prop is useful for ppl who want push tw have it easier and that men are reviled for being men. Enter prager xcuse me truthers.

I also hate internalized oppression framework, imo it is an idpol tool used to shift blame from the brainwashed oppressed to som aspirational that oppressive ideology comes naturally to. Is she promoting transmisogynistic ideas? Yah, shes not bad for this but it is why its useful to truthers, and part of why it hurts to read as a tw.

@autogyne-redacted i do think its hard to see point 1, 2, and 5 of y shes not trnsn nd say these arent related to passibility. Repercussion are often contingent with passablity. Movin towards phys transn being dysphoria inducing is connected with what expectations of feminity u hav and how u line up with them(i also xp this). And the gap thing is imo her wishing she could be passable w ease and recognizing she cant so settling and saying its not worth it to try.

I think lena is apply a broader scope of trans xp to jennifers xp i dnt think this is even necessarily harmful and i dnt think shes even saying jen is wrong for it shes saying her words are easy to coopt that they are capering to these tmras which they are however unitentionally. U could also take things ive said in the past and warp them into tmra shit. I fortunately didnt write these things in a medium article. She is handling in other ways and this is wut conv therapy wants... thats what it seems they go for a lot again doesnt mean jen is bad nd lena doest say shes wrong for this. The only thing lena says is she doesnt want this for herself thats not restricting jens autonomy. And that the article and responses made her sick. They made me feel bad too. This isnt necessarily a moral judgement. It could be but idk.

All this is a dissection. I hate it. I wish her vent diary post wasnt being aired, analyzed, and discoursed. Im doing it right now ffs! It makes me want to leave the internet. I hope ppl stop talkn bout it...but they wont bc the corpse of this diary can be a useful weapon against tw so itll keep gettn used.

[kurjakani]

I cant ttruly relate to Grimmer bc ofc. Lets just say I did not in fact have his upbringing. Nor do i Lack emotions. But the way hes written to express emotions and the way he tries to figure out what the APPROPRIATE ones to express are. I think we can all see how a lot of nd ppl could get attached & relate to him. Me included

[jooheonies]

tag the mutuals you talk a lot with

tag your favorite mutals!

mutuals appreciation! write heart-felt messages to some of your favorite mutuals (or even ones you haven’t talked to yet!) and tag them, BUT don’t tell them which message is theirs, let them guess!

tag your closest mutuals!

jdfhkjsdhf i rarely actually,,,open my inbox nd i honestly frget to answer a lot of asks to i decided to !!! clean this all out today!!! nd these were all similar so im jst gna group em all into one ask! 

ill tag mutuals i talk to a lot nd mutuals i dont talk to that often bt i love seeign on my dash bc !!! i wanna group in a lot of love since im combinig 4 asks djfhskjdhfkj 

mmmyyyyy sweet babie,,i love u sm !!! ure always so warm nd loving nd i love ur entire chrt except fr th….rising.hhhh bt anyways!!!! talking to u is so fun i love telling u abt usher nd u telling me abt kakashi,,,,warm love!!! my gff i love u lots nd i wanna give u !!! the entire world!!!! 

hewwo!!! ure so funnie i rly love talking to u im always losing mymidn laughing!!! im glad both of us succumbed to the same capitalist corporation,,,,viva tortilla,,,,and that we both act rly Stupid when we talk!!! anyways when we both become full fledged goth legends we can combine the intense power nd channel it into getting those triscuts off my shelf once and for all!!! i love u !!!!

 hi fool this is me giving u that Attention u crave,,,the attention we both Crave,,,. ure honestlie trulie the only cancer id ever like so much its like. wild that i love u so muhc,,,,i tell u that ure gorges and beautifufl all the time and we even have each other as ,,,lockscreens,,,,,bt its still valid i love u and cherish u sosososoo much !!!! 

literally,,,the day after we started talking u called me a heathen fr thikning ushijima is hotter than hyunwoo and im NOT wrong,,,,hes so sexie,,,,,the sexiest man ive ever seen hes even hotter than the Rock,,,,anyways i love talkign anime w u ,,,even though ure in so deep,,,,,even more than i am,,,,kagehina posters and all the village headbands,,,,ill bite u to death,,,valid! anyways i lvoe knwoing a weeb out there whos further in than me,,,bismillah,,,,

nnnnn hewwoooo!!!!! i thkkn weve only spoken,,,,twice? once? before? who knwos,,,, either way ure rly fuckin funnie nd cute nd u like…..u have Good Vibes,,,,u dobt understand my angst works nd u see infidelity where there is None bt thats ok !!! bc i pestered u fr like a whole 10 mins to read that angst fic nd u still didnt block me :) anywa ys ure funny nd kind of dumb bt. endearign dumb :D

sup,,,fool,,,my favorite thign abt u is how,,,no matter how Dumb i act u literally jst go w it…me telling u abt my ushijima shrine and my expired jello and my tentacle!wonho stuff,,,,doesnt faze u!!!!! wild!!! thats such a fucking power move!!! anyways i hope we can always talk wheneeevr i drikn that fuckcing…..Demon Juice,,,,and write chaotic thigns,,,,changkyun moo,,,yeehaw,,,i love u!!

hi!!!! miss space!!!!! i loev talking to u a lot even though im very very bad at answering :/// most icnoic thing us talking abt space and clowning anyone who doesnt like it,,,whats wrong w u,,,also us tlaking abt what our fave gallilean moons and the trappist planets!!! god id literally unhinge my jaw and swallow ur textbook whole even though its a pdf!!!

hhhhewwwooo!! queen of making gfx!!! talking to u is so fucking,,,,FUNNIE DJKFHSKDJ URE SO FUNNY,,,,that time u sent me a screenshot of th thign that reminded u of me,,,,im the Bean,,,god that still sends me into a fucking FIT!!! THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!! thabks fr being one of the few who liked my writing !!! legend of liking both my crack fics and my actual fics!!! 

nyaa!!! the last time we spoke i called u a scammer and the queen of fraud and highway robbery which i think is still applicable if im beign honest some ppl stil thikn that thing is true :/ bt anyways thanks fr listening to me,,i literally ranted abt k*ho being fr the Hets within like. 10 seconds of knowing u nd u were like Valid,,,,i felt so supported i thrive off of that,,,im never letting go of the fact that u thought i was intimidating,,,what the FUCK!!!! im a libra sun,,,,the only thing i can hurt is my own head when im trying to make decisions,,,anyways i lob talking to u !!!

queen of having the Most Chaotic Colors ive seen in my entire life,,,,not to be uhhhhhh dramatic but honestly ure the most chaotic person ive ever seen all those colors rly truly make me feel like i might Die!!! anywyas u judgedme fr being a bad babysitter bt thats not my Fault,,,cant help that the kids i babysit take my advice too literally and taking fucking plastic KNIVES to their school to confront bullies,,,anyways talking to u is fun bt also. Ovrewhelming . bc halfway thru telling u abt my manatee i adopted named flatulence ,,,, ure colors. are Chaos,,,,,in conclusion ure so fucking FUNNIE,,,,bt theres so many colors u give me a FUCKING headache,,,its the give and take of humor and pain

ure rly!!! une babie!!! ive loved watching u grow nd change over the past year weve known each other!!!! ur love fr sana ? probablie the cutest thign on this planet!!! anyways ure sweet nd lovable nd im rly so glad 2018 is treatuing u better!!!! i hope u get rid of all the negativity in ur life nd u can finally jst be th happiest person!!!

NNNNNNN MY GF MY WORLD MY ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!!! SAVED MY SOULMATE FOR LAST!!!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING!!! U are one of the best friends I have ever had and I cant even express to u how much I love u!!! I LOVE U SOSOSOSO MUCH I ALWAYS SAY URE THE FIRST PERSON IVE EVER !! IMMEDIATELY!!! CLICKED W BT U RLY ARE!!! icb we talk so easily and my favorite thign abt us is even if we dont get to talk constantly,,,when we finally get some time its like so comfortable nd natural ,,,,my anime queen i love u more than anythign in the world ure my numero uno my ult bitch id 1111/10 die fr u!!! 

@dwaynewohnson @changhyuk @kissesana @jealousymv @bloodorangeki @hyuccwoo @toffee @babiewonho @minhyukt @museoul @ckyun @hyunwoo

[mell0bee]

thinking about this post i made but also like. cr very often has characters that hide how bad they’re actually doing for the sake of others (ie: scanlan, pike, jester, and caduceus being the obvious ones that come to mind, but literally every character does this to some extent) and in c3 we have that as well w/ all of the characters, orym being the most obvious case imo. and fcg! but their brand of hiding their own feelings is very different from what we’ve seen before.

i’m thinking about fcg (unless they are super duper lying, which i don’t really think is the case) who literally can’t tell if they’re not doing so great (emotionally or physically) because of their programming. like, that’s not a thing that they really know how to express. when the party asks them why they’re glitching out they say, essentially, “oh yeah that happens sometimes when i get hurt! i should probably rest!” like it’s not something that they really noticed or considered as a problem, or at least considered enough to bring up to the rest of the group, until someone else pointed it out. their suffering only mattered when it seemed like it was impacting/worrying the rest of the group.

and like, everyone else tried their hardest w their intervention, telling fcg to take care of themselves and let others know how they’re doing. but like. i literally don’t think fcg could register that they were super hurt in the battle and overwhelmed by all the stuff that they felt they had to fix/possibly distressed by the group trying to get them to remember what happened. they can’t do anything about it if they can’t register it! it’s good that the group is keeping an eye out for them (and i find it interesting that orym was the one to tell them to take care of themselves and not just the group, because i know he does the same exact thing and probably assumed fcg had a similar mentality to him). however. i think the problem goes deeper than just hiding their suffering.

idk where i’m going with this really. i just wanted to point that out because i haven’t seen anyone talk about it. and also dude same. i think a lot of ppl (esp nd people) can relate to not being able to properly gage how they’re actually doing, myself included. also thank you sam for this funky little robot.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Why was Lorenzo such a jealous bitch nd why does this fandom treat him like he's a good person😑

okay so i know that this is a rethorical question but i've actually thought about this a lot so i'll take my crack at answering this - WHY is lorenzo such a jealous bitch?

the only thing he's said about why he hates magnus - that i remember of, at least - is the line "he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. his fame is not based on talent, it's all nepotism"

now, anyone who knows anything at all about magnus knows that not a single fucking word of this is true. magnus was born poor in a recently colonized country under a lot of oppression, there was no damn silver spoon in his mouth, and after that he was thoroughly abused by his demon father. his fame is also absolutely based on talent - he invented portals, for fuck's sake! and the "nepotism" comment barely makes sense. i assume he means it's just that magnus' power is all due to the fact that his father is demon royalty, which makes magnus more powerful than most warlocks

so, that explains what lorenzo is jealous of - magnus' power and prestige among warlocks (such as having been HWoB for decades) - but not what the fuck lorenzo's deal is (i mean, we've met plenty of other warlocks in the show, many of which weren't really fans of magnus, but no one other than lorenzo has this idea that magnus doesn't deserve his fame), or why magnus (because while like, yes, magnus is very powerful, i assume he's not the only son of a prince of hell, considering asmodeus is not the only prince of hell and these guys get on the loose, like, weekly. and lorenzo is obviously OBSESSED with him, he deliberately went out of his way and abused his power as HWoB several times specifically to antagonize him, and also, you know, TRIED TO KILL HIM)

lorenzo talks about magnus almost as if magnus took something from him. it's not just that magnus is powerful and that he supposedly doesn't deserve it, lorenzo obviously feels as if antagonizing magnus is some sort of vengeance. i know plenty of jealous people, but going as far as forbidding anyone other than himself from giving magnus a magic transfusion, specifically saying that if it went wrong he wouldn't help, and then refusing to take back the magic when he KNEW perfectly well that would kill him, is to me very obviously a thought out plan TO kill magnus. lorenzo had been hoping from the start that magnus' body would reject his magic and the transfusion would kill him - why else would he specifically say, the second he agreed to the transfusion, that if it went wrong magnus would be on his own?

and it's not like lorenzo even gains anything from that, other than killing magnus. and humiliating him, which lorenzo has said explicitly was something he wanted to do (i believe the term he used was "breaking his spirit", but potato potatoh). if it was about magnus' position of power, he already had that - lorenzo literally already had the HWoB position. if it was about magnus' magic, he had already lost it. lorenzo had absolutely NOTHING to gain from magnus, so his personal vendetta against him doesn't even make sense from JUST a jealousy standpoint. he had already "won" over magnus. the only explanation is that he wanted some kind of revenge

but revenge from what? well, we know that magnus and lorenzo don't like each other, but magnus never really TOOK anything from lorenzo. considering how he wouldn't miss an opportunity to talk about how much he hated him, i think lorenzo would have brought it up if that had been the case. and magnus is just not the kind of person to pull the rug from under other people's feet - look no further than the whole show for evidence of that. he literally puts the others above himself at all times (which is unhealthy but that's another story and something i've talked about plenty of times already)

so why does lorenzo feel so much resentment towards magnus? why does he act as if magnus' power took something that was rightfully his?

i think lorenzo feels that he was entitled to be the most powerful, to have the most prestige, to be above magnus, and he resented magnus because that was simply not true

why?

let's go back to the only thing we know about lorenzo's backstory - the baby painting. yes, it's a huge meme, but think about that for a second. lorenzo has a huge ass painting of himself as a baby that he displays proudly in his home and that's, like, his #1 stop at the house tour. the baby painting. "needless to say, being born in spain during the siglo de oro was quite the experience". is the first thing he said

let's make this abundantly clear: this line makes it canon that lorenzo is a colonizer. the siglo de oro ("golden century" in spanish) started (roughly) in 1492, year of the """""discovery""""" of the americas, and ended (roughly) in 1659, the year when spain signed a treaty and lost a bunch of their territories to france (link to source). altho the term is usually used to refer to the boom of the arts in spain, it's obvious, just from these historical landmarks, that the siglo de oro is about colonization. it's about the fact that at the time spain was at its peak colonial power, and could afford to exploit what later became third world countries, and put part of that money (in fact, the literal gold they were stealing from latin american countries) into arts and other luxuries (because in the renaissance portraits were a luxury item and a symbol of status - link to source) for the ultra rich that benefited from colonization

so, lorenzo is not only a colonizer, but he's a part of the elite. the fact that his family could afford to have a painting of him as a BABY (portraits were almost exclusively adult portraits, and usually of the whole family, unless you were even richer than the rich. and even then individual portraits were usually to celebrate important achievements such as a marriage or acquisition of state - a baby being born doesn't qualify, especially because at the time most babies died not long after birth anyway), and a HUGE painting on top of that, shows that they were just. loaded in an incomprehensible way. im talking jeff bezos level of riches. they were the elite of the biggest colonial empire of their century. so, ironically, lorenzo was born with a silver spoon in his mouth - everything that he had, he was born having, and he specifically had because it was being stolen due to a dramatically violent process of genocide and slavery, that he believed to be entitled to simply because he was born a spaniard/white. that is all canon, because in the shverse mundane history is the same as in real life. EVERYONE who was born in the colonial elites was taught that they were entitled to shit from other countries, that they were superior not only to other ppls but also to their own people - let's not forget that this was way before the advent of republics, those were monarchies. the ppl who were part of the elite straight up believed they were superior to others by virtue of god

"woah woah woah but lorenzo is played by javier muñoz who's brown" yeah, which is unfortunate, but he is still canonically a colonizer. first off, because it's not like they wanted someone to be lorenzo and were looking for brown people - they were looking for someone javier could play because he's a bigshot broadway actor who was also a fan of the show, and then they picked lorenzo. probably because the sh showrunners don't fucking know the difference between a latino and a spaniard. or maybe they do, but they thought, "eh, close enough". either way, lorenzo is a spaniard, and he was born a colonizer - ergo, he is white, regardless of what race his actor is, regardless of even what he looks like. there are plenty of white spaniards with similar skin tones to lorenzo, because what today is spain used to be a territory occupied by middle eastern ppl, and there was mixing. what makes whiteness is not skin tone, it's context, and the context of being a literal colonizer directly benefitting of the oppression of black and brown people is as white as it gets

so, to recap: lorenzo was born a white colonizer, and he was RAISED believing that everything he had, he was entitled to. he was entitled to it by virtue of god, because he was born a part of the rich elite in the richest colonial power in the world, and he had access to everything he could possibly want. and he wasn't just entitled to riches and power - which he still has, look at his fucking mansion, dude - but specifically to superiority to his peers. especially black and brown people, the source of his riches, the people who owe him the wealth he takes from them

and then he joins the warlock world, and not only is he not royalty (because presumably he is the son of a regular demon, not too high up in the hierarchy) but some brown guy is. and this guy is in a position of power over him (high warlock) and he is better than him (at magic, specifically, but also at everything including being a human being, but lorenzo doesn't care about that). and lorenzo is fucking livid, because he believes himself to be entitled to be the best, entitled to be treated as a superior, entitled to admiration and to servitude, especially from people like magnus (let's not forget that the philippines - colonized by spain during the siglo de oro - are right next to indonesia [link]). instead, magnus is, politically speaking, his superior

and it's not like it even means much because the high warlock position is implied to be kind of like, the mayor, and it's not like magnus ever abused his power (unlike some people - and sidenote, i think this backstory is also why lorenzo was so comfortable using his power to antagonize magnus: because he was raised in a context where political power was pretty much boundless and politics and the personal feelings of the ruler were not separated). so in practice its really just that if lorenzo had a problem, he could go to magnus, and if magnus made a decision that referred to all warlocks, lorenzo was supposed to follow it. it's nowhere near like, actual subservience. but it's way too much for someone who was raised to be entitled to the level that lorenzo was

so that's why he has this feeling that magnus took something from him - because in his head, everything magnus has, lorenzo should be entitled to. because in his head, any and all power rightfully belongs to him, and if magnus has it, then it has been stolen. and that might not even be conscious of his part or whatever, altho i doubt lorenzo doesn't think in explicitly racist terms at least in private, but that had been ingrained into his head for centuries on end. if it's still ingrained into the heads of white spaniards born TODAY, imagine one who was actually born at the fucking height of racist exploitation

so. yeah. that's why lorenzo is such a jealous bitch. that's why he hates magnus so much - because he feels that magnus having anything at all lorenzo doesn't is theft, and ironically, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but believes that he earnt what he has whereas magnus didn't. it's not just jealousy, it's a profound feeling of racist vendetta, and i'm sure the sh writers didn't mean it that way, they were just writing a big villain to bring malec together, but death of the author, baby! and this explanation actually makes sense without having to change anything in canon, so, i feel very comfortable saying that's why lorenzo behaves the way he does

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT THE BOOKS

[khaleesiofalicante]

bts annie 💜!

okay a few K-dramas that I absolutely loved were-

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo: It follows the lives of several athletes in a sports college and it was definitely worth the watch cause it talks about different issues and it has a really cute friends-to-lovers plotline that was fleshed out so well .(check the cw's tho)

Touch Your Heart: An actress is looking to make a comeback following a scandal and to do so she has to work under a lawyer to gain experience for her role. This is legit one of my comfort K-dramas (it does play out quite slowly so you might want to watch it when you have time to kill)

When The Camellia Blooms: best K-drama of 2019 it was so good and I want to rewatch so badly😭😭. It follows a single mother as she tries to go through the changes in her life which include: falling in love again, learning to be lean on others , and also! a serial killer who aims to kill her(cw's again).

Hometown cha cha cha: its still ongoing but I fully recommend watching it for a sweet romance cause the lead actors have a really refreshing dynamic. It follows a dentist who opens a clinic in the countryside and a handyman(who is also the village chief and many other things) . Its really good and I'm liking it😊😊!!

Flower of Evil: i liked it so much?idek why?? its about a cop and her husband when his past comes back to haunt him.(the copaganda was strong. but their love even stronger✊🏾😔)

Hyena: a law K-drama and it has trope of lovers-but-now-we're-rivals-and-oh-fuck-now-we-have-to-work-together🙄 so obviously i ate that up<3

Hwarang: its a period piece! also this show got a lot of ppl into kdramas , it also has the acting debut of taehyung from bts and he played his role very well!

Psychological K-dramas (these fucked with me but i loved them):

Strangers from hell: a young man moves into a residence but everything is not what it seems(its very gorey but i liked it)

Sweet Home: currently watching but GODDAMN.

also btw i saw this post while watching squid game and AHDAGFLKAHFJ

I've not watched these but my sibling recommends these: romance is a bonus book, rookie historian goo hae ryung and tempted

there are very few queer K-dramas on Netflix BUT there is :

wish you: a musician and a singer who add harmony and love to each others life(its googles review but they're right !!)

nevertheless: the main couple is straight but it does feature a really well written wlw couple

a few LGBT K-dramas that are on my to-watch list( they're not on netflix but they're available on dramacool and kissasian): Where Your Eyes Linger, Mr. Heart , Colour Rush

also remember sweet night by V? its the ost for Itaewon Class and it features a trans character! I've not watched it yet but I hear its good. (also a random fact: Itaewon has one of sk's main lgbt population )

that's all I have for now! have a good day!!!

Song rec: My Universe by Coldplay and BTS! 💜💜💜

AHHHH THANK YOU. I saw some of them on Netflix Already. I will try to watch at least one :)

Thank you again. I am running out of shows to watch so I rewatching the same sitcoms for the 149th time lol.

Also I love that song!!!! 💜

And thank you for the lgbt recs! love ya!

[schaefferisqueen]

Starship Song Ranking

ughhhh so so little songs why that makes it harderrrrrrr. okay so it was kinda easy but rlly depressing cuz I love most of these song and I didn't want to but I had to oops. also I didnt include beauty reprise cuz it not on soundtrack (if I had it would be last btw) BUT OMG THE PUPPETRY AND THE ACTING AAAAHHH AND THE SONGS DARREN KILLED ITTTTTT

9. Beauty (ok I know this is unpopular but lets be real its pretty on point for me lmao; dont get me wrong I love brant he's amazing and his voice is great I just dont like this song it kinda awk and I just never really vibe with it)

8. Get Back Up (WWOOO YA LAUREN ok so this song is great I just,,,, like others more I also dont vibe with it that much oh well; also joes up voice is so fuckign funny and perfect for the character also Lauren accent is great I love taz and the DANCING omfg dancing I dieeeeeee and Joe m and Julia as krayonder and specs is so good like hell ya love them)

7. Kick it Up a Notch Reprise (hELL YA GO BRIANNNNNNN king kills it I love him YA IM SMOKIN POT lmaoooooooooo the line kills me every time and this would have been higher but um,,,, its not soooooooooo oh well it so funny and the vfx in the recording are so dumb but make it so fucking funny and junior just flat out murdering every bug he sees RIP Buggette)

6. Life (HELL YA JOEY GO JOEY he kills this entire fucking show like wtf he's puppeteering, playing the lead, acting, and singing for like 3 hrs straight so fucking impressive go OFF king also I love this song and how they incorporate it into Kick it Up it such a great sweet sad song aahhh I stan)

5. Hideous Creatures (hOly shit I LOVE this song I dont know why so many people including the starkids hate it I think its amazing such a bop and so catchy and you can here who is singing what part which I love trying to pick apart aaaahhhh it so good FIGHT ME I DARE YOUUUUUUUU)

4. I Wanna Be (aaaaa this is amazing opening number like it sets up the show so well and shows off the puppeteering skills of everyone and how practiced and rehearsed they are and I love and Joey and Brant slay the song they are so good and have so much talent and I love listening to this song I also love how they put it in homecoming it was so funny and iconic and joey messing up was funny but great and amazing and aaa I can't wait to rank hoco anyways everyone is so good in this and the harmonies and the jokes and brant being like YOU IDIOT lmaoooo I love this song)

3. Status Quo (hELL YAAAAAA GO JOEYYYYYY this song slays so hard and Mariah and Alex singing at hoco broke me I cant ANYWAYS I love this song and it so good and I love the fucking message kill the status quo it is toxic and complete SHIT omfg I hate cliques and status quo and it go DIE not jeez anyways kudos to Darren for writing a bop with an amazing message he so good at that ahujfkhsdfjk)

2. The Way I Do (ok I love this song especially the apocalyptour version but I sadly tend to forget that this is not just Dylan and Meredith killing it but Denise and joey are killing it tioooooo also joey’s lines in this song are so deep if you think abt it cuz he is directly contradicting what legit everyone else in the song is saying about knowing each other deep down and he's trying to admit to Denise that he's a bug but she so sweet and naive that she doesn't let him tell her and then the consequences later in the show aaaaaa I love it im sry I think abt this a lot and I always listen closer to joeys lines ANYWAYS great song makes me think deep thoughts all 4 kill it there u go)

1. Kick it Up a Notch (aAAAAAAAAA THIS FUCKING SONGGGGGGGGGG if u know me at all u know I am obsessed with this song and I may or may not have kinda sorta tried to record myself doing all the parts before and ya this song SLAPSSSSS so fucking hard like GO DYLAN WOOOOOO nD THEN BRIAN AND JAIME AND JIM WOOOOOOO THE SLAYYYYYYYYYY also Joey hell ya go joey but srsly I love this song it amazing and the harmonies and the vocals and everyone just all around killing a 7 min song is so iconic and I cant also this is one of the first songs that made me realize no matter what ensemble song jaime is in you can always hear her no matter what like im not kidding listen to any ensemble song jaime is in especially in homecoming lmao and you can hear her over everyone and I am here for it I love her my queeeeeeennnnnnn she slays ANYWASY ya this is Dylan ultimate villain song I love it this song is also the reason that Dylan jaime and brolden dominate rogues medley lmao)

OOOOOKKKK so that was long af (dont worry the one imma do for sk homecoming is longer) anyways thx for reading if u did! dm me or reblog or comment or smtg to let me know what you think! I enjoy doing these and reading ppl responses it is funnnnnn 

thank you glorious human beings for reading the whole fucking thing u absolute angels! good news, avps, mamd, avpm and others are already ranked! just waiting to me to add commentary lmao

<3, alimay

[transrightsjimin]

ariana's fans hate bts hdjfjfjfj also let's not forget that almost every fandom and journalist is looking for an excuse to discredit them. i don't mind the collab as a single i honestly don't care, to this is what boys want then sure, but if they were to feature ari on the album people would just claim that she is the sole reason it did numbers. I saw people saying that mots7 is selling so well thanks to sia when most of the fandom hates her version.. they just hate seeing bts achieve anything

ohh i didnt know that but im not surprised. i mainly see fans of both post / tweet abt wanting to see a collab between the two nd make wild theories to prove so thats what my post responded to. i get that itd be nice for them, esp since jungkook is such a big fan of hers, but im not the fondest of various artists they like or have collabed w due to their racism / misogyny (the chainsmokers in the case of both) / being a predator (halsey who had a thing for years for kissing minors on the mouth at meet & greets and a concert nd joking abt going to jail for it) or ppl who side w multiple predators (e.g. nicki minaj), not to mention the countless of cloutchasers who have tried to, and sometimes did get involved in production or collabs (counting the chainsmokers in that too, just like now w the jason derulo mess and also melanie fontana before, who claimed a song she barely added anything to as ‘her’ hit). and then theres ofc Lauv who queerbaits during his whole career lmfao

urgh ppl said that abt the Sia collab? yeah that does indeed not add up. i personally find that version of ON hilarious, and i do wish the version had turned out differently as she’s an amazing singer but that ver was rly underwhelming. but yeah to say it was successful bc of her while it was an extra song that isnt even on all kinds of releases of the album nd has found poor reception in the fandom, makes no sense. the fandom has been steadily growing over the years and become more and more well-organized in streaming, plus bts has already accomplished so much in the past w songs that didnt have major Western producers or singers attached to it.

it’s rly telling that before bts performed at big american music award shows or got picked up by the gp in the US, things like an mv w effort put into it, boy bands, and music award show viewers were considered less of the time and irrelevant, nd after, suddenly others (cough cough Simon Powell, SM ent) tried to make a group that would supposedly compete w bts in popularity, suddenly performances at music awards became more elaborate and attendance became more important, nd that some of the bigger artists bts had collabed w, hadnt reached a no.1 song under AFTER their collab.

like i hate to repeat the ‘the blueprint‘ meme but there truly has been a shift in how western music industries approach releasing and promoting music since it got to hear abt bts, and bangtan’s fandom has grown a lot over the years while the group made steady growth in their recognition. so to see ppl claim a collab is only successful bc of another artist involved, only shows wilful ignorance of the group’s history and their impact. also the ‘on ft sia is popular bc of the collab‘ argument makes no sense bc armys didnt receive the song well and the general public didnt get exposed to it much due to no promotion by fans, nor by radio which largely ignored mots7.

sorry for going on a tangent there, my thoughts are always going 100km/h, but as a final note, i do want to add that i dont think all collabs have been bad! the western cloutchasers / racists / predators / otherwise shitty ppl who have collabed w bangtan, have generally contributed not much to the song or even made demos that were a challenge for bts and other in-house producers to try to fix and try to make interesting and pleasant (e.g. melanie fontana w lyrics that had to be scrapped nd changed for 90%, also ed sheeran w make it right was discussed as a song that was only made interesting bc of bts’s changes to it and vocals).

i rly enjoyed Namjoons past collab w Wale on Change, MNEK who produced Paradise nd seems genuine in how he discusses the group, of course JUICEWRLD (r.i.p.) who did an amaaazing collab for a freaking OST for their mobile game??, ofc Steve Aoki who theyve worked w on various songs nd has mentioned nd defended the group well in interviews, MAX who collabed for a mixtape song nd included Yoongi in his own album nd had very fun interactiond for years. and then of course there are many others such as the Korean artists who get overlooked a lot in these discussions!! i especially love winter flower by Younha and Namjoon, and NiiHWa singing on yoongi’s mixtape song 28. i def think that those only seeking fame instead of creativity, audibly do not add much to their songs as cloutchasers and white westerners who are used to making hits by lifting a finger (or payola lol) dont put much effort into their work.

like, it just baffles me that ppl r hyping up a supposed collab w ariana grande based on vague theories, while there are also people like Rina Sawayama who we (and she, and bts!!) have been hoping to see work together w bts for years! like collabs are what i find the least interesting in future music, partially bc it’s all american interviewers want to ask bts abt, but if there is one, pls just let it be a genuine person, whos in it for the music and doesnt show repeated shitty behaviour.

OK rant is over, sorry it got so long!! i just never know when to stop writing gdhfjh

[sirvalrigard]

lots of ppl r wondering how special delivery fits into the fnaf canon and this is just our take on the clues nd how they fit into our canon nd maybe itll help explain some things at least? idk lemme infodump

wwe tried to do a readmore but we r on mobile n its not working sorry scroll fast if u dont care

olk so we see SD happening after HW—it would make sense that after making a game to try to clear their name and draw in new customers they would start some dumbass kind of service like fazbear funtime to get as much money as possible

also, since SDs canon includes the use of a smartphone theres no way this could be a past experiment. like HW, the fnaf game canon is happening in real time now

i hope we find out more abt fazbear ent inc and who runs it cause other than william theyre the biggest antagonist of the whole series fjakajdjfk BUT until we do, well say that for [insert some probably capitalistic reason here] fazinc deploys this funtime service

now—we already know from HW that fazinc is mass producing animatronics (and has been doing so for however many years now), and thats where the endless supply of animatronics come from

but how/why are rhe animatronics haunted if their AI and souls (remnant) are also in HWs game code? well, heres our personal take,

fazinc sent steel wool(?) the parts of animatronics with remnant in them to program the game which made the game haunted nd all, but remember they also took that stuff back!!!. and it seems like what theyre using it for is copy pasting animatronics for their mass moneygrab scheme

and using the original, remnant possessed AI codes as the base copy, that would therefore pass on remnant of whoever that animatronic was—past just CPUs, but some tortured soul juice as well

imagine having bits of ur soul scattered into multiples of you while the rest of it is stuck in a nightmare video game? yeah no wonder everyones so cranky!!!

but if theres remnant in the animatronics, why is it also in the air?? well it might be time to rethink what we think remnant is. we usdd to think it was metal that was possessed but it seems to go beyond this, instead remnant appears to just be life energy. it can be fused into metal and burned, but it can also visually manefest as we see happen with every spirit/phantom shown (the children appearing before william, and the phantom animatronics before michael, etc). it would make sense for residual energy following the remnant stuffed animatronics (the endos likely have such little that your phone isnt able to read it in SD)

and rwq / shadow bon???? ? handy describes the shadowy remnant to be “guarding” the light ones. this is purely going off that line and our purrsonal hcs that we feel rwq is protecting the torn up souls of the many victims of fazinc, attacking the player when they try to capture ans use the children for energy just like william and fazinc did! rwq says fuck the manipulation of life esp the ones of kids

freddy & friends make sense to be roaming around, after all being the four main characters ans most popular. balloon boy and baby also make sense considering fazinc seemed to have adopted williams failed pizzeria and his animatronics after whatever happens to it after SL. and of course elizabeth and the other kids are still desperate for closure and tired and angry. also the soul thing we mentioned before

now spreingtroip is an enigma like he always is. but theres actually evidence behind the idea of a bunch of springtrap models being mass produced—HWs “build a mangle” level showed how the company slapped together animatronics when they were reopening in leu of HW (and likely use the same method for making the SD animatronics) BECAUSE if yall remember, some parts of springtrap couls be found on the conveyor belts and on the order screens, SO

having mass produced their popular animatronics, why wouldnt springtrap also be popular in game canon? after all after the events of fnaf3 im sure fazinc would want to monetize him even more after HW. some dumbasses like those who put together fazbears fright would definitely order a springtrap. why not remake the monster using the parts they found for thrill seekers whod give them money?

purrsonallyn we like to think that the springtrap models are made with either fake guts or completely empty and each springtrap starts to rot from inside out fromm williams influence

why are WE collecting remnant?? well for starters i dont think we were supposed to. its clear from the start that once handy takes over your app its mostly not the company talking to you, but someone or something else (our guesss/hc is handy (hand / tutorial unit ). its either him or one of the other spirits telling us to collect remnant—its doubtful that fazinc would reveal that kind of info to the public when theyre secretive and would fire someone for reading the wrong email by accident

what does it all mean yet... thhats the fun 🐰

TL;DR fazbear entertainment values money over life and is willing to torture dead children and risk the lives of innocent for the dollars: thus, special delivery

theres word that we heard of updates coming to SD and we r super duper excited we hope we r able to uncover more of fazbear entertainments dirty truths and whos behind it keeping this tragedy dragging on and on

and we hope that by the time their new pizzeria opens next year, we’ll be able to finally stop them

[astrifica]

Literally he tries to control everything Nd now it’s mainly when i sleep Nd if I lock my door. Got up at 3am just to check Nd see if I’m awake Nd bang on my door aggressively waking ppl up. He screams Nd controls everything Nd doesn’t care about me says he’d throw I me out I can’t lock the door now even tho that’s the on,y way I get privacy

anonymous asked: Hey! I was wondering if u or anos/ppl had any tips on how to stay up without abusers noticing? He woke up at 3am to “see if I was sleeping” and banged on my door Nd woke everyone up bc I locked my door and was awake. If he catches me again it won’t be good at all. He controls everything Nd I just want to be able to be safe in my room and hide and do fun things/work that I need to finish.

Hey! First of I want to quickly say I’m not sure if you sent anything before these two asks, as this is all I’ve received. So please feel free to resend anything else!

I’m really sorry you’re stuck in such an abusive situation, and I hope you’ll be able to get out of this sooner rather than later! 

That being said, here are some tips I can think of at the moment from my own and others’ experiences:

✦ Try your best to figure out both spoken and unspoken rules on these things and make it appear as though you’re following them.

✦ Find out whether lights can be on (but I mostly suggest only using nightlights  or keeping your curtains open if you have windows to use light from streetlights at best due to that being the most believable). If not, make sure to keep your lights off while staying awake except for a phone light or (silent) flashlight that you can hide or turn off easily and make sure to keep it from shining towards the door.

✦ Stay in bed as much as possible when you’re expected to be asleep so you can easily pretend to be asleep.

✦ If you do need to be out of bed, prepare your bed for quickly getting back into it when you hear them getting up in any way. Make sure to also prepare excuses as to why you’re awake (needing to go to the bathroom, grabbing something like a glass of water in your room, etc.) in case you don’t make it back to bed in time, and act sleepy to make it look like you were sleeping before.

✦ Try to lock your door as little as possible if it’s against their rules to lock it even if it’s scary, because their reaction to breaking a rule like that is often the worse option. It really depends on whether that’s worth the risk in some situations though. If you can’t lock it at all, then don’t close it fully either as this’ll make it more likely for them to get angry and check. Instead, leave it open slightly so they can see a gap but not far enough that they can see you easily (if possible that is). If you do need to have your door closed for some reason (getting undressed for example) don’t actually close it, instead just leave as little of a gap as possible (this’ll also allow you to quickly pull it open further if you hear them).

✦ Wear socks to bed or keep them close enough that you don’t need to get up for if you need to quickly get up (it’s the quietest option for walking).

✦ Learn to figure out exactly where in the house noises come from and train yourself to recognise certain noises as needing to pretend to be asleep (like a creaking spot).

✦ Learn to recognise their breathing sounds for when they’re asleep so you know when it’s safe to do what.

✦ Try to train yourself to recognise who’s steps are who’s if you live with multiple people.

✦ Stash things like food, water, medication, first aid supplies, and important items (phones, bank info, birth certificate, IDs etc) in your room in hidden spots so you need to leave your room as rarely as possible (make sure to change the hiding spots regularly especially if they search your room and take as much with you as you can when you’re not home and they are).

✦ If it’s unsafe to go to the bathroom, get a something like a plastic container with a lid and hide that along with toilet paper, wet wipes, a silent form of air freshener etc in your room, and empty it when it’s safe to do so.

✦ If necessary, silence it when you have to use the toilet by first putting a layer of toilet paper and doing your business overtop of that.

✦ Keep an emergency bag in place and think out a plan along with backup options for if things get out of hand and you do need to run away. Remember to make a list beforehand of all you’ll need and include most in the bag already but keep it hidden. If needed keep a weapon with it as well and make sure to keep your important items in places you can quickly get them from!

✦ Make a recording of yourself while you’re sleeping when they’re not present and mimic your breathing patterns etc when pretending to sleep. If impossible, ask someone you know sometimes in a way that seems unrelated about things like if you ever murmur/talk/snore in your sleep etc and maybe even how (example: “so the other day I found out that x talked in their sleep and they said something rlly silly!” pause and continue convo as normal “do I ever do anything like that in my sleep?” and continue from there on) or mimic it from videos of other people and general knowledge on it (like slowing your breathing).

✦ Keep most toiletries in your room so you can largely do morning/evening routines from your room.

✦ Keep your volume low and always wear earbuds but never wear two if you listen to things, keep the ear thats towards the door free to hear people coming.

✦ Think out how you’re going to hide things like your phone when you have to pretend to be asleep (under your mattress, under your clothes, in your pillowcase etc).

✦ Think out the position you’ll lay in when you have to pretend to be asleep, make sure not to make it too rigid and maybe let your blanket hang off you some to make it seem like you’ve been sleeping for longer.

✦ Do most activities from your bed or if you can’t, make it look like you’re tidying up or grabbing something so you can easily hide that you were doing anything. 

✦ Disguise noises with other noises: if you have to open something or put something loud down, cough/make a sneezing noise overtop of it.

✦ Make sure to always wear clothes that at least look like sleeping clothes if you’re up when they don’t want you to.

There are all I can think of right now, but if anyone else has any more to add, please reblog this, add them in the replies, or send me an ask so I can add them to the post!

Additionally, here is a post with some general tips on surviving abuse!

I really wish there was more I could do to help but know that I’m sending lots of love your way and that if you ever need to vent or talk about these things my inbox and DMs are open! ♡

[maxieflowers-blog]

maxwell flowers is a twenty-eight year old staff that works as a pre-law professor. it has been stated that they are charming & witty, but they can also be manipulative & unemotional. he happens to be into roleplay & daddy kink, but won’t do non-consensual & ageplay. it just so happens that they look like chris wood and are bisexual. {syds/20/est/she/her/none}

helloo!!! i’m so pumped to be here skdfj i’m syds (or sydnie) and i’m bringin y’alls my lame annoyin bitch ass character, max. i’ll put some stuff abt him and some connection ideas nd i’d love to plot w/ all of you!!!!!!!!!! pls!!!

soo maxwell was born to an infamous lawyer and a baker. his mom was the lawyer and she was rly well known for helping people that a lot of the media was against. bc of that she got a bad name and got a lot of threats and stuff but she was like whatever! i’m a bad bitch with money, fuck y’all!

his dad was much nicer. he had his own bakery and after school every day max would go there and do his homework. his dad would check over it and if he did a good job he got his fave doughnut ( one with sprinkles......obviously.....)

even still his parents were also part time con artists. they’d con their way to free meals mostly and as max got older he’d get included in the things. he’d fake cry or anything else to get free ice cream and other bullshit like that

so from an early age he was taught manipulation tactics. which were and still are very key to his personality. the downfall for him was when he spent the night at a friends at 10 years old only to be woken up and find out that someone had broken into his house and ‘hurt’ both of his parents. it wasn’t until he was at the funeral that he realized he wasn’t gonna see them again.

after that dealing with his emotions was NOT a thing maxwell did. he put up a ton of walls and refused to ever let anyone in. early on it made him come off angry, but eventually he became a RLY enthusiastic and friendly boy. he was nice to literally everyone in school. that Dude who somehow seemed to be pals with every friend group? he was that bitch

it was what made him popular bc tbh he was a big nerd his whole school career. he’s lowkey v GEEKY and makes a dumb bitch of himself a lot and if he hadn’t been purposely going around making friends with everyone he would’ve been p low on the ladder.

he was in theatre!!!! he loves bein dramatic as FUCK and Truly it was his passion besides law to follow after his mom. if that inspo hadn’t been in his life to make his mom proud he would’ve followed the Hollywood Dream but instead he’s just dramatic in every moment of his life to make up for it!!!!!skdjf

emotions are still a big NO for him. he usually fails in relationships bc he gets freaked out once the commitment gets TOO real. on the other hand he also falls in love w/ everyone always. he has a very soft nd pure heart deep down and if u catch his attention he’s swoonin for a few months at least. at least until he writes a poem abt his feelings and gets it all out so he can move on to the next.

he teaches pre-law, but he’s also still working on actual cases too. idk how bein a lawyer works if i’m gonna be real but his cases are def criminal based. tho unlike his mom he's not defending ppl who committed crimes but working to get them behind bars!! and he only takes on stuff where he’s 10000000000% sure that they’re guilty. he doesn’t wanna be the one putting innocent ppl behind bars and has in the past helped cases where he thinks they’re innocent. he’s v moral when it comes to being a lawyer.......... as moral as one can be u kno. he cares abt people!!!!!!

but he’s also kinda self-centered???? in a way. he’ll talk about how pretty/talented/great he is a lot but it’s always in a light jokin manner i promise he’s only a lil overly-confident. but also kinda doesn’t like himself. it’s COMPLICATED!

UM i could keep going but this is getting rambly he’s just one of my fave most developed ever muses so i care abt him A LOT !!!! if you’d like to plot just like this and i’ll bug u! but if u see an idea that u think might fit ur character pls come bother me i hate the awkward start of plotting so i’d love to SKIP IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE skdjfasdf (it’s only awkward bc i am Awkward i kno but kdjfsd) ANYWAYS HERE’S SOME IDEAS!!!!

exes. boys and girls. max is v bi and loves them both but also sucks at dating so u know how lucky. everyone gets to deal with max sucking (pun INTENDED)

high school friends. he was friends with as many people as he could handle in every group so anyone could work for this. there can be added drama of crushes/hook up/dated for 2 days, rly whatever!!

best friend. his #1 fave!! they make him a LITTLE more emotional but if they exposed him he’d be v angry. they know everything abt his life and vice versa, and they just mean a lot to each other! love that

crush. tbh since he’s weak he might have a few of these at once. he just gets drawn to good convos and fun ppl and he’s kinda weak from then on.

hook up. just someone he hooked up with maybe recently where it’s a lil awkward between them now. maybe they had a close friendship and WHOOPS they banged and now they’re not sure what to do or how to talk to each other. ://// tho max tries to just continue as normal whenever he sees them sdkfj SMOOTH

favorite student. P STRAIGHTFORWARD I THINK? like the student who doesn’t even have to be the smartest tbh. just the most fun since that’s what he likes the most. he def gives them special treatment smh :////

first love. prob a high school connection but this was the first person he TRULY loved and wanted to be with forever but then they broke up with him?????? i picture they’re older so it was a college thing but he was THE MOST HEARTBROKEN and still feels it to this day :/

fwb. casual, cool. they bang whenever they’re bored but that’s it. the kinda thing where they high five afterwards and congrat each other. sdkfjsd

childhood best friend. someone who was there for him through his parents deaths and maybe there was cute fake marriages and playing house and all that cute as Hell stuff ok pls..........

that’s all my brain can do for tonight bc it’s late but PLS GIVIE ME ALL THESE PLOTS!! I’LL CRY

[cherrycatexe]

Feysand Family Fic (pt 2)

Feyre wiped the drop of tear which rolled down Adriana’s cheek and extended her arm offering a hug with her own eyes shining with unshed tears, Adriana advanced towards her extended arms, a bit hesitant at first, then she wrapped her tiny arms around Feyre and Feyre took her in her arms, careful not to hurt her tiny wings, which were neatly tucked behind her. Feyre’s warm and comforting hug felt so similar to her own mother’s hug that Adriana started sobbing and nestled in closer to Feyre. The others were watching the two of them quietly then Rhys came forward, knelt down and wrapped his arms around his mate and his new daughter. Feyre looked up at him with a small smile, while Adriana’s face was still buried in her neck, Rhys kissed her forehead and smiled, first at her then at Adriana, who finally looked up. Cazriel and Morein came next and Cazriel placed a hand on her shoulder to draw her attention, when she turned around, she saw Morein who was a year younger than her extend her hand out to her in a friendly gesture, as Adriana took her hand she greeted her with a warm smile saying “ Hello sister! I’m Morein, C’mon we got a lot to talk about!” Cazriel smiled at his two sisters and then introduced himself to Adriana. The two kids started talking to Adriana, Morein easily made her feel comfortable with her, as she had the same charming charisma like her aunt Mor, just like she had her golden locks, which at first surprised Rhys and Feyre, but Mor was super excited. Cazriel made both his sisters laugh with his good sense of humour, like his dad. Adriana felt home in no time with her new family. Rhys and Feyre went to the camp with Cassian, who was extremely overjoyed that he had yet another new niece and couldn’t wait to get to know her better, but obviously now he had the mask on of the lord of bloodshed. This new inner happiness though helped him find some comfort amidst the grief he was facing of the lost Illyrian soldiers. Every time he delivered dead bodies of the fallen Illyrian warriors to their relatives, he got this sense grief and regret wash over him and he just could not help it. But this time at least the fact that someone got a new family and was saved from her life getting completely ruined because of his family, made him feel better. In the meanwhile time the kids played in the area around the waterfall. When the elders were done with the inspection of the camp, they all winnowed back to Velaris. Adriana had never been here, she was completely taken aback by the sheer beauty of the city and the joy in the air. From the town house she looked down to the city and marvelled at it. She was just gaping at the scene as Morein excitedly chattered on about the city and the places she wants to show her, even Cazriel mentioned places in between which he wanted to show her. The trio was in the balcony, when Mor came. She introduced herself to Adriana and gave each of them a hug. She wanted to take the kids and Feyre for shopping; she was so excited that Feyre could not turn her down. As they went from shop to shop trying and buying dresses, Adriana was completely consumed in the sparkle and beauty of the city. Feyre and Mor got dresses for the girls, shirts and trousers for Cazriel and a few jewelleries for themselves. They came back with both hands full with shopping bags and all of them including Adriana, laughing and giggling together.

After returning she was introduced to everyone at dinner. She found herself liking her new family a lot just like they liked her a lot! She was intrigued about Az’s shadows, though they appeared to be less than the last time she had seen him in the camp. Adriana was surprised to see The lord of bloodshed, Cassian to be this friendly and warm, He was very gentle with her the day he found her but the only qualities of Cassian she was aware of that he was a great warrior, able general and had compassion for the members of his troops, she had heard tales of the shadow master and the lord of bloodshed from her parents, she was inspired by their stories and always had wanted to get to talk with them and someday become a brave Illyrian just like they were.

She had found Mor to be a complete joy to be with from the moment she entered, she was looking forward to spend more time with her, she didn’t know yet that she was The Morigan whose gift was truth. Amren seemed a bit scary even though she tried to smile but she wanted to get aquainted with her as well! Maybe she could fit in with them, she admired every single one of them already... but she just couldn’t stop thinking about her parents, even amidst the joys and laughter that her new family brought out in her, there was the cry of a little girl’s yearning for her parents in her heart. She was a kid but she knew how to hide her sorrows, she smiled even when she was missing her parents so bad that she wanted to cry, just to make her family happy. She thought no one knew, but her parents, Rhys and Feyre they did.

 so here is part 2 of my fic! I have been working on it for quite a while, I had sort of a writer’s block in between actually, and I got only few likes at first so I wasnt feeling like writing but all the lovely ppl who helped my first fic achieve nearly 20 notes,made writng this possible, it’s not much but 15 notes is my least required number of notes to make me willing to write, m new to writing nd publishing my work on blog so I don’t have much followers nd do not recieve much exposure but even if reading my fan fic prevents few ppl from getting simply bored I feel good, feel free to leave a comment on how was the fic nd improvement suggestions! I’d like to hear from all u lovely ppl who have tym to read my fic! thank you!

[the-firebird69]

whyy fight off a droid army if the pyramid is empty...makes sense it would be scanned and empty and left to rot.  so they go and find it still inprogress the ships offshore and fighting to get tothe isle and place bombs theyo brought...and it is notgood they said we are embroile too and see why the prize there the ships roll in tkae it rollout and they saw it yesterday the chinese simmply drove right up to him.  out of nowhere...and it was likethat too caa says they are warring with themand boom he is in front of us card worked didnt save as wanted, order perfect,and nobody saw,no it was seen they had ppl there let himkonw ken and the truck. but then he said the truck left and he couldhave no sawwho and what...and thenthe yelling yesterday...theyi got that then....so they saw. they wheel by and do it like here and tooknicaragua and she  expectsa  report fromsasquatch andeh sasy no and then ok ok i giveone but i wont tell every damn thing under the sun...it will be as compltet as im allowed...she smiles i see.  droids willbe on it and they see they walk in grab leave.  so tgons see it and if in disguise worse...tons knew that fast...and it is s asuprise yes.  but driods were allover  the isle and still are...tons of them..and we see it have had this situation before and it is a nasty event..tons see it.  we work now  Thor not only would you have no chance but they go aftre te daimondsnow are all over gibraltar and we use the chaos of this election so what of it. mac we use you and your droids sowhat of it  bja and we use both wei ton seeyoui now bja and lots see you wie and we see both mac wesee allof you and you will fall infight included. your too onryo here and mean you need distemper shots Thor we shallhavethemthen mac not me your an idiot mac  bja oh distempter why  us we were calm even after coaxing an outburst from him mac okok we coax yes anddo it yes and then whay you clobber i see it mac no youdont we all get it and yourto blame your ass technique you are notmy father where ishe you numbnutted douche bja we see you you say it like aman and are .  it is too tough of asituation okwe say it out of pridethis is aweful mac put way too much stank on that ball. real mutantsarehitting and are huge ok this is bad sour. mac was mean and had a grudge and ghwb grip broken now we can see it this is a war the shatterdome came down and he says incompetent idiots had it and they ddid were at it thewholetime killed off thier own andorencouraged it now they have these Jaeger and they are not incompetent machines but the pilots are..we move in need them and in ohter areas  mac weknew it and you too caa bja nah mine are better caa okok we seesomething this is about hardwareand he has the best but where..ok andours is similar shut up is good but no yours never lose...and it is due to holding off Kaiju well cant accessour areas, so we watch ours get creamed are defensless asthis boys grandpa died or left.  he is under diress no he is in the pyramid yes.  and they keep him there to take goodies.  try yes and are an outfit but are poor. we see preston adn it is mean they are poor and it means poorly skilled. tons see it bily could shoot but pilotiing is complicated.  difficult and requires thinking adn nerves of steel and manyour bodies fail a lot epceially grafted we need them now protection. mac we cannot it is too hard to give up you haveto wret them from us bja and you both arethere and it is nonssensce and que lastima macs fail due to youcorkand that part is true. your a slob and dont use gear...it takes all macs havet do it less you not wit you proof is tommorrowland Zues treu too we are not great at it and it took tons of effort to build those cities and tons to keep themgoing and he came by messedit up and in one day. they are a mess. we need yououtcork ofoffice adn other now mac fine weleave where should we go then he says china th orient flood and die flood die after your diamonds taken from you ok.  most were and lots from delaware thatday they used the greek fire Zues ok ok they did and we go adn wehate themfor it and other occasions that is real weseeitandprocessed themeand are incorporating them..into what...we see fine lassers as we mess up plants true too.  sow e find thm takethemas we used to and you pay caa for your comments bja shut up dog shit you cant steel a thimble from anyone here except a prisoner oppressed by all around himin the entire state pitiful wierdo Zues we see it too we reshunned as we acton you and it is distrubing our women and more.  we leave to try it bja and webelive it when we see it but chewey left to look so you follow him.rifhgtfuly soboth are hairy animals mac hey chewey yeh chewey, what did you do to lewey Zues ahhaahha always ready weith ajoke his grandpa taught him we see it chewey ok you ate lewy and was it cintron mac no no i did not eatlewy chewey i fly by caa and leave he is an ass bja your a faggot you fly by westop you and deductpoints as usual for each attempt.  you are blind and you lose tons of stuff by doing it as said.  Zues we do it then no. no. we are idiots and continue to sit bother himandothers take as it is a fruitless effort...we leraned that in the park pick onhim you mess with us all stood up fo ryou as they were, anyways and we get it out or die.we go after the diamonds in china then and were stolenfromall bja yeh they were but you had themand they tookthem you dolt you let themgo fromhosptials nad your area... mac no i did not he directed it andwe let them have himdo that bja you did mac fine we did it is haienous we suck and are bad at it and go there try grafting to get themback honed i can hone this is awefil mb had them ok. aweful.   bja ok ok cork is arriving yes and he sends stuff calls up says imgoing and gets motivated as most say okgo and he is the clone army and sends tons. they fight droids of macs soon andmac willbe consternated. a nd chewey fights the clones too shortlyas bja is an ass.  huge ass.too big fatone lol wie soihave a fatasss so  bja well it is indicitave ofyour race and do not talk to our son the way you do you fattassed whore you die fully now your down toonly several nonillion and we see it too. so go expendand die.  and yourhere too trying for himand try using it to distract we hityou now you aredesperate need votes. want a hostage. and you shallperish too biden your prick. none in office  but we shallsee. loser Thor why loser imgetting to hte best part wherehe gets arrested and tried for treason andmore.   biden your a dumb fuck arent you biden and you continue to be. you stepped on your game and now it is flat. you put me incourt and your rhealm began to tear at it self and now it is being dissolved, there will be no dc by thte time you are elected and it will be mine wehere you will stand trial for your crimes against my people...and fully too.  and it iwll bre witnessed by my Father and Mother and you shall perish.  and the protectorate is there already and the Dark Tower,waiting for you  to fall like a good boy as you say,no zaps all who come near.  tons try adn all die. all. iti s not your caliber.nope.  nor macs nor the giants.  it is Class A Alpha class weaponry.  you are not going to try me buttfuck....your tribe falls.  your fight lost to dirt too. scum.  and by the way your a loser tossedout a game you stillhad for this pieceof shit nothing gameyouwant a fight and you got one cant see it even corkcan. whats wrong with you shrimp got  trd torso cant handle it at ll...you will be on trial shortly.  and Thor issues the warrants and we havepower all the time dont need to dancearound..and pstons are at your tower shit for brains thanks for all the nagging Zues Hera we are at war then biden gee wiz you figured it out Zues Hera youwillnotcondescend to me i had you there biden no shit sherlock had tohave someone and you were hot totrot for it as if i took your lawnmower not even you harrassedme fromnext door and did tons ofidiot things and i ama young man wasnot awrae of tons of your issues i amnow dont worry wont use that on you.ooops i am already...backstabbing faggot.what a loser you turnedout to be.  fell once all the way down.  now you are deaf weak dumb adn demand me in court as macs want and i did not focus on your puny ass...but nailed macs and htey regret it yes.  now it is your turn...and you will be vanquished in days.  not weeks like bja took.   Zues Hera oh i see days so be it then we war biden sheeesh i thought you never wouldget it...you declared iton me and you demand we aim at you now we shall and we take your hardwarenow. and you will feel it, a sharp pain then no arms orlegs at all Zues Hera wedo this now you little imp your a faggot too. adn we see you dance around adn do stupid things for macs and fall your an ass too weak performer and your lines are poorly delivered sick old fell adn are crap now get outor berun down like trump is Thor Freya run em down then imold and failed at it all of it lost my family now he tears it up as i aman asshole to him.  and it is about family and i cannot hold itanymorehe is at s all day all night and yes due to me so what biden your an asshole ok turmp too you both are traitors he si not to blame but ours will want a trial and it is hellthey will and do bring it downonus. hell too this sucks it issodumb youfeell on us biden and turmp you planned to. faggot what is your plan by the way mac we dont have one i guess crapped out before it started...true too.  china and s o on never changed. we saw it they raid fast we are slow trump slow as hell love it too wait wait onemore coffee and gone. got it oh it isgone too bad. and youbiden a gift to us yoru an asshole you left your boy to you t beharmed and yous ay it your gross.  a fag loser and squander hsi abiltiies onhisown fu mac yeh fu traitor.  thank you for the starting pistol it is ince and you hv seen it in many movies latley its a .22 you idiots shoot each other no foul adn so on and are dumb. Zues Hera we see it we are losers and we go now but war iwth youon a personal level biden you have been you dolt Zues Hera  yeh new and improved and all and himok why biden you need it badly your an ass this is so stupid you usedhimnot he used you faggot tied us all up china drove away w it and per mac but this is well over it he takes all and proves it shortly  and yeh the daimonds are in the hole as you s ssy he says.  and we go look now and cant see it is too huge batman well well we hae a concensus we shoot you all you wnat himtired so you talk.  and he felt itbut knows you need toget your burdens off your chest like biden thewhore...he is a man whore...sucks badly Thor

[yallarewild]

20 reasons why i think self dx is dangerous (as a nd/mentally ill person who’s spent a decade researching psych)

this was made purely to highlight the dangers of self diagnosis and the importance of necessary medical treatment

important disclaimers:

self dx =/= self advocacy, i.e. researching symptoms that you think you might have and trying to compare them to your own behavior without actually dxing yourself, regardless whether you are going to seek medical help. i believe this is extremely important: it can provide you w/a sense of validation to know you’re not alone, and it can put you in touch with your feelings a little more once you realize there actually may be something going on with you. 

this post is not made for the intention of judging the character of people who self dx- there are many other posts out there about the ableism factors,  the trivialization of mental illness, or the way tumblr communities handle mental illness, etc.

tl;dr: .it’s not a fucking joke, please go get checked out by a professional medical practitioner, or don’t (but pls do), but whatever you do please don’t self dx

i often see the phrase “no one knows you better than yourself” as a justification for self dx and while you’re the only one who has access to your emotions and thoughts, no one is objective about their health, thoughts, and emotions. it’s impossible to truly dx yourself with any mental disorder because you subconsciously bring different types of cognitive biases into the process – this is why “medical intern syndrome” is such a prevalent phenomenon. you might know your emotions and thoughts, but this fails to address the fact that your perception of your feelings are grossly affected by your true mental illness (which says something ab your mental illness in and of itself).

not having access to mental health care doesn’t mean you should dx yourself with a mental illness, its not black or white. i often see teenagers saying they don’t want to get a prof dx because they don’t want their parents involved and i totally understand that, ableism is so terrible and i’ve experienced it for so long, trust me. luckily, there are ways to access mental health care at little to no cost, insurance or not, without getting your parents involved, but im not here to judge those who struggle w/resources to care.

untreated mental illness does not go away & a pro dx is crucial for access to treatment, disability benefits or other types of care or services. this could literally mean life or death. the prognoses for untreated mental illnesses are across the board terrible and may have devastating effects on your life: the longer they’re left untreated because you decided to not seek treatment, the more disabling they’re going to become. like one argument for self dx is that not everyone can access mental health care/resources…so instead they do something that literally prevents them from accessing resources….. uhhhhhh ??

you could put yourself in grave danger because symptoms of mental disorders may actually be life threatening symptoms of serious physical issues requiring medical care: thyroid issues, liver damage, vitamin deficiencies, blood/bone/brain infections, neurological disorders, many types of cancer, autoimmune disorders, brain tumors, epilepsy, diabetes, etc

you could put yourself in grave danger because you may be dealing with early symptoms of a more serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, DID, etc. there are many early symptoms that mask other disorders. obv all mental illnesses are very serious but if you self dx with depression because you’re experiencing the “negative” symptoms of schizophrenia: lethargy, lack of affect, etc. you may not think a pro dx is necessary and early treatment is crucial for successful long term treatment of schizophrenia.

there is so much misinformation about what symptoms look & a psychiatrist is able to determine the degree and direction of the symptoms. there is a huge spectrum within each symptom and it honestly takes a trained medical professional to determine the severity. for ex: mood swings are common in both bipolar disorder & BPD but they look and feel totally different for each disorder. people justify this with: “well i fit the literal dsm diagnosis” except,,,, you probably dont. the dsm was NOT designed for people who are not medical professionals to interpret- there are nuances of specific symptoms that determine a dx

just because you experience several behaviors doesn’t necessarily mean you have a mental illness at all, diagnoses are based on the specific combination of symptoms. you may look at mood swings, anxiety and issues w/interpersonal relationships, and think you def have bpd; however it’s important to factor in that mood swings/anxiety are associated with hormones, eating patterns, stress, situational conditions etc but since you’re in the lens of looking for a diagnosis you might point to that and think it fits within that diagnostic criteria. im not saying you’re faking or don’t have a mental illness, im saying one or more of your symptoms may not be accounted for mental illness.

if you self dx and then don’t get treatment and/or medication you’re generally at a HIGH risk for self medication which may or may not include self-harm and substance abuse. since mental illnesses generally do not get better over time, so the longer you wait, the higher your chances of engaging in self destructive behaviors. there are some mental disorders that are literally inherent chemical imbalances that can really only be treated with medication, no matter how much self care you engage in.

i often see the argument that “psychiatrists just go down a checklist to diagnose you and that’s it!”, as well as, “My psychiatrist googled ‘x disorder quiz’ and printed the first one that came up!! i was in and out in five minutes!!!” as justifications for self dx: like either your psychiatrist needs to get their fucking license revoked or that’s just not true. the testing process generally takes an hour and involves diff types of observations of behavior as well as a very long list of questions- it’s not a fucking list printed from the internet from a random site.

additionally i see, “psychiatrists make mistakes too!!” right, true but the chances of a psychiatrist making a mistake vs the chances of you making a mistake are very slim in relation to each other due to the reasons listed here, i.e. decades of research on a phd level

just because some people go to the psychiatrist post-self dx and learn they were correct about their self dx doesnt mean that it applies to everyone and REGARDLESS it doesnt mean you shouldnt get professionally diagnosed anyway. these are a few experiences out of a million. it literally doesn’t mean that you are definitely right in yours.

quizzes taken on the internet aren’t fucking diagnosis (and neither is 6 months of research)??? like i don’t care if you’ve taken ten of them. if they’re designed with the proper controls they could def help SCREEN for mental illness symptoms, but even then it requires a lot of second party consulting, it’s something you’re literally not qualified for, for the reasons listed above.. if i took diff quizzes or tried to research my symptoms i could def try and self dx with so many diff disorders that aren’t even comorbid. they need to be interpreted by a medical professional and are usually designed to help guide ppl towards treatment

“all psychiatrists are neurotypical and dont understand my mental illness!” how do you know they’re neurotypical? they wouldn’t tell you even if they were??? also what does being neurotypical have to do with their ability to correctly do their job???? would you expect an oncologist to have gone through cancer in order to do their job?

the concept of self fulfilling prophesy is hard at work with self diagnosis; if you attach a label of depression to yourself it’s going to influence your behavior and self perception whether or not you’re aware of it. you might end up seriously damaging yourself because youre trying to fit the diagnosis. when i obsessively tell myself i feel very depressed, after awhile i actually prevent myself from feeling better because i keep telling myself i’m depressed, for example.

one phrase i see a lot: “well people self dx with a cold, why is this any different?” well, for one thing, the physical ramifications of a cold and a chronic mental illness ie a literal chemical imbalance in your brain are miles apart. they’re not even medically comparable in terms of immediate and long-term effects. additionally, it really highlights the fact that many people treat mental illness as a personalized experience whereas they treat their physical health w/objective opinions from medical professionals. this analogy is not only inaccurate but it’s dangerous as fuck.

people might not be aware symptoms they’re experiencing are abnormal because that’s their normal state based on their actual mental illnesses. for ex someone who suffers from an anxiety dx might just be used to adapting to it their whole life when they actually have a serious disorder and not even think about getting help for it. your baseline cannot be assessed objectively.

sometimes the self dx community is enabling in a bad way- the lack of treatment for disorders real or otherwise make them more susceptible to encouraging/justIfying unhealthy coping habits. its kind of like the blind leading the blind. like it’s just not a good idea.

just because it might take a couple diff psychiatrists to get an accurate diagnosis isnt a good justification for self dx. this can be due to a million different reasons- maybe you were diff ages when you saw each one, maybe you were exhibiting signs of something else at the time- i was originally diagnosed with depression before bipolar disorder because my mental health hadn’t stabilized so my mania wasn’t present.

using the excuse of “ask someone close to you what they think about you possibly having [x] dx” as a legitimate step towards self diagnosis is as bad as saying you don’t have a personal bias… like the answer from your friend/family member is based on so many factors: the nature of the relationship, how honest the person is, their emotional state at the time, their own ability to analyze the people around them, how aware of psychological symptoms they are, their bias towards mental illness, the way the symptom description is presented,   the setting the discussion took place, etc etc

last but not least, i see the phrase: “well mental illness didn’t suddenly appear as soon as i got a diagnosis!” obviously it was always there but you may have mislabeled it before your diagnosis if you self dx’d first, thats it. no one is pretending mental illnesses suddenly appear when a professional diagnosis is assigned

your best “research” on the internet is not equal to ten years of medical school, its just not, and it’s concerning to me that self diagnosis is such a prevalent trend on here. please seek treatment, even if it’s in the form of your high school or college counseling center; the links i’ve provided in number 3 may be helpful in locating mental health care, whether it’s a community mental health care center, or a therapist close to you who offers reduced cost treatment.

you owe it to yourself, it’s 10000% worth it.